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Chapter
5 It’s Okay to Cry, Grieve, Swear, Scream, Rant,
Laugh, Learn, Love, and Makes Lots
of Lemonade Along the
Way |
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Oh, Pachelbel
It has taken years for me to be able to hear the sweet, strong
opening strains of Pachelbel’s Canon D and not dissolve into tears.
Granted, the melody is lovely, but for me it is bittersweet as
well.
In the NICU at Eastern Maine Medical Center, Pachelbel was played
frequently throughout the day and night for the babies. The effect
of the music was clearly evident. Heart rates would gradually
drop, monitors would cease their screaming, and the babies would
settle
in their isolettes. Evan was no exception.
When we finally got home with Evan, his “Auntie Melissa” had
a copy of Pachelbel waiting for him. Because Evan loved the soothing
music, I played it for him
despite my tears. Many days and nights
during his early infanthood were spent in the rocking chair, with
the music playing around the clock. During Evan’s various medical
crises, I’ve heard the opening strains of that melody. There
wouldn’t be a radio or CD playing within earshot; the music
would be playing in my head.
As time has gone by and Evan has weathered his many illnesses
remarkable well and made some progress in many areas, we
still listen to Pachelbel.
But its effect has changed. Instead of an overwhelming sense
of grief and despair, I am filled with a sense of hope for
the future,
and
take comfort in knowing the soothing, calming influence it
has on Evan.
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